Category Archives: Life

How to Fight an Autocracy

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Below I quote from David Frum’s, How to Build an Autocracy in The Atlantic.

Those citizens who fantasize about defying tyranny from within fortified compounds have never understood how liberty is actually threatened in a modern bureaucratic state: not by diktat and violence, but by the slow, demoralizing process of corruption and deceit.

And the way that liberty must be defended is not with amateur firearms, but with an unwearying insistence upon the honesty, integrity, and professionalism of American institutions and those who lead them.

We are living through the most dangerous challenge to the free government of the United States that anyone alive has encountered.

What happens next is up to you and me. Don’t be afraid. This moment of danger can also be your finest hour as a citizen and an American.

 

An American Nightmare

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Only Americans can hurt America.

President Dwight D. Eisenhower

I tossed and turned. I thought I was awake. I was lost in the dark movie in my mind. An inner voice told me I was dreaming; the images in the darkness told me the nightmare was real. Everything in my dream was dark. Hollow men came and went in the shadows. I felt angry, scared and sad.

It was Friday, October 30, 2020 just after the television national news and just four days before the presidential election. President Trump, fearing the loss of the election to Democrat, former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, broke into television coverage and announced that due to massive voter fraud and terrorist threats he was postponing the November 3, 2020 national elections. He called on his followers to stay alert for subversives.

To defend against terrorists and keep order in urban areas, he nationalized local police departments and the National Guard. He filled the police departments of our largest cities with law enforcement “consultants” to keep order—primarily by suspending civil rights of citizens. He named Fox News, the only reliable source of news other than Trump himself, as the network of the White House. Citing the dishonest and subversive media, all other networks were taken off the air and guarded by the thousands of border patrol agents, added to protect our borders and now Trump’s personal police force. His generals, now leading all Cabinet departments, took charge of the government and military. He long ago gained control of the fossil fuel industry through bribes and threats. Oil and natural gas would be rationed—to distract and control people–until further notice. Congress, led by moral cowards and Trump enablers Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan, would report to deplorable Vice President Mike Pence who would continue to lead domestic policy against women, nonwhites and the LGBT community–anyone different from old, rich white men.

The hijacking of Democracy in America—led by Republicans and long in process–was over by 10:00 pm Eastern time. Newt Gingrich smiled—he started it all long ago. Rudy Giuliani jumped, waved his arms and screeched like a crazed chimpanzee. Sarah Palin lapsed into her best Tina Fey impersonation. Chris Christie, long forgotten, thought: “That could be me.”

America fell from greatness because citizens went to sleep.

Everything was so obvious in hindsight. The images filled my dream-state.

The pattern had become obvious and routine: Trump went off on someone on Twitter, wrote outrageous things, people responded with outrage and then calmed down until the next time. He ranted and raved against the dishonest and corrupt media daily. Over and over he lambasted phony polls and voter fraud. He lied about successes and blamed other for failures. He was a master at manipulating and exploiting the fears, loses and anxiety of followers. He made everyone who opposed him into a scapegoat and blamed them for his bad behavior. His ego grew, bigger and bigger. His fantasies—stoked by alt right forces in the White House–grew more grandiose: only he could lead America.

His followers believed everything he said. He had invited them to feel better by harming others and they felt important and powerful. Many citizens had become desensitized to Trump. Or maybe they were tired from the constant chaos of Trump or just couldn’t care anymore. Few people demonstrated against him anymore and those who did risked jail, assaults, beatings and even death from roving bands of Trump followers.

I woke up, cleared my head and realized that I had been dreaming—a dark night of the soul it was.

Thank God, nothing like my dream could happen in America.

The Worst is yet to Come

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Our Constitution is a remarkable, beautiful gift. But it’s really just a piece of parchment. It has no power on its own. We, the people, give it power. We, the people, give it meaning. With our participation, and with the choices that we make, and the alliances that we forge. Whether or not we stand up for our freedoms. Whether or not we respect and enforce the rule of law. That’s up to us. President Obama

 

Soon Donald Trump will be sworn in as President of the United States. I still find this reality difficult to believe. I wonder over and over again: “How could people vote for such a man?”

Republican policies—many anti-human—threaten tens of millions of Americans. Few believe Republicans can govern the nation effectively. Trump promises a return to a romanticized past in American history–a time that never really existed. To be sustainable, our human community must continually evolve to greater consciousness and complexity. Efforts to return to earlier, more primitive, immature and unconscious states are not sustainable for humanity or for a vibrant planet. Many fear a deep and dark decline. Adding to these dangers, Trump brings something new to the presidency: He exposes his dark side—his shadow side—openly for all to see but he himself appears unconscious—without self-awareness or ability to mature. He is not a normal person. Our fears are appropriate. And he has not yet taken power. The worst is yet to come.

Trump almost daily takes us down many slippery slopes of “not normal” personal behavior. And each time he does, his “not normal” behavior becomes more common and desensitized people begin to consider “not normal” as ordinary options to consider for their own behavior. For example, corruption becomes the norm, wishful opinion becomes fact, lies are inseparable from truth, bullying becomes okay; hate crimes are deserved, sexual assault is boys being boys and mocking the disabled becomes normal activity. A president should model behavior we aspire to; not behavior we descend to. An abnormal man will not be a normal president. For perhaps the first time in our history, the majority of Americans abhor the essence of the man elected to lead us.

In his farewell address, President Obama put the responsibility for our democracy squarely on the shoulders of the American people. His address called us to engage, get involved and be responsible. He warned of the threats of closed minds, economic disparity, a racially divided country, not living true to our values and allowing democratic institutions to decline.

I am painfully aware of my own lack of influence and my feelings of powerlessness to effect change. I like to say, “I do what I can,” however small, to consciously evolve my life and impact those around me in small ways. Each of us can choose to become more conscious of ourselves and the world around us. We can strive to “wake-up” and become more mindful. We can offer our talents and skills to the world around us. It is imperative that we awaken and act together if we want a good life for future generations: “Learning how to relate sanely with our chaotic world is no longer a luxury. It’s our responsibility,” wrote Pema Chodron in When Things Fall Apart.

Such conscious evolution is difficult, painful and frightening. M. Scott Peck, MD wrote that stress tests our goodness. We tend to become small-minded and often regress to earlier states of maturity when our fear, anger and anxiety overwhelms us (see Trump rallies). But we can also become aware of our impulses and choose to act differently than what we feel or how we acted in the past. We can choose conscious evolution over unconscious degeneration.

How American citizens engage with Trumpism in Washington D.C. and in our communities will define us as people. In standing against the everyday darkness of Trumpism, we stand for the deepest, most noble values of America.

We can choose to go through the difficult angst we feel and walk into the unknown living true to our purpose and values. We do not withdraw or run away from difficulty. Together we can be the courageous role-models for America and healers of the spirit that lives within all living beings: kind, inclusive, cooperative, compassionate and increasingly conscious. And our everyday choices—doing what we can– will make a difference. In doing so, we live noble lives.

 

Some Thoughts About Anger

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I like people who are alive. People who are alive are hard to control. They have ideas, aspirations, and feelings, including anger.

John Cowan in Small Decencies

 

Lots of anger after November 8, 2016. Lots of fear too—often hidden in anger.

A few thoughts about anger:

Rollo May in Power and Innocence:   

The central element which constitutes the human being: It is the capacity to sense injustice and take a stand against it in the form of I-will-be-destroyed-rather-than-submit. It is a rudimentary anger, a capacity to muster all one’s power and assert it against what one experiences as unfair. …this elemental capacity to fight against injustice remains the distinguishing characteristic of human beings. It is, in short, the capacity to rebel.

Can we relate to anger at injustice? What do we do with the anger we feel when we see unfairness? What would be a good way to deal with election anger?

From an unknown source:

A peaceable young man asks a rabbi:

Are we not to forswear anger and live peacefully with all men? The rabbi answers, my son, God made anger for a purpose. If he had not intended for us to use it He would not have put it in our souls. Only be careful how you spend your anger. There are many things we should not be angry about. We should save our anger for those things which demand it.

What do we get angry at that we shouldn’t? How do we pick our battles?

Aristotle:

Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.

Do we think carefully about how we will spend our anger? Do we discuss our reactions with someone else before we express them?

I wrote in The Spiritual Warrior in the Time of Trump:

 Warriors are often angry people. Their anger is forceful disapproval of lies told, trust betrayed, innocence violated, reality denied, power abused, and incompetence rewarded. They don’t turn indifferent or deny their anger and become sadistic and abusive. True warriors engage their anger and use its energy to empower themselves and free others.

How do we engage and use our anger? When have we harmed the spirit of others in our own lives?

Rollo May in Power and Innocence:

In the utopian aim of removing all power and aggression from human behavior, we run the risk of removing self-assertion, self-affirmation, and even the power to be. If it were successful, it would breed a race of docile, passive eunuchs and would lay the groundwork for an explosion in violence that would dwarf all those that have occurred so far.

Continue reading →

The Spiritual Warrior in the Time of Trump

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In the face of this we pray. In the face of this we love. In the face of this we forgive. Because the vast majority of water protectors know this is the greatest battle of all: to keep our hearts intact. Lyla June Johnston, young Native leader to Timothy Egan (NY Times, Dec. 2, 2016) at the North Dakota prairie camp where the Standing Rock Sioux are making a stand to keep an oil pipeline away from water that is a source of life for them.

Something has changed with the recent elections. The dangers to America and to the planet became more real to many, the threats to people more imminent.

Trump’s election calls people who fell asleep to awaken—a call to engagement and action.

America has many problems besides Trump and Pence: jobs, debt, wars, racism, sexism, terrorism, healthcare, homophobia, xenophobia, demagoguery, immigration, islamophobia, income inequality, a crumbling infrastructure and climate change along with many other threats to the natural world. But our biggest problems may be fear, anxiety, ignorance and the damage to the human spirit assaulted from all directions by egos without restraint. And, not on the horizon but needed most of all, we need value driven leadership.

We need to nurture, support and aspire to become spiritual warriors who do not identify with the tribe, state, demographic group and even nation. Spiritual warriors identify with life itself. Regardless of our differences, all people share a common humanity. Our spiritual warrior knows that much of human history is madness and she lives determined to contribute to a saner world.  The spiritual warrior understands that we live in an interconnected planetary community, and we depend on one another. Relationships matter and diversity is required for a sustainable community. She wants everyone to have dignity and to live a good life.

Our warrior has thought long and hard about her purpose in life—her reason for being. She knows her values and holds herself accountable for living true to them. Committed to learning to live in healthy and sustainable ways, she shares what she learns with others. All efforts to help life matter—small or large. All of us have many opportunities each day to lighten another person’s load in life. We don’t have to be a celebrity—we just have to care and want to help others.

The spiritual warrior gets courage from her vision, values and purpose. She weds power with values and strength with goodness. She knows that provoking the status-quo is dangerous and she may get hurt. She goes forward anyway. Spiritual warriors fight for all of life and the life of the planet earth. They fight against anti-life and anti-human forces. They fight for our humanity. Each of us can be a spiritual warrior in our own way and do what we can to fight ignorance in ourselves, grow in consciousness and stand against those things that threaten our planet and our spirits.

Warriors can be angry people. Good people with gentle natures have much to be angry about. Their anger energizes forceful disapproval of lies told, trust betrayed, innocence violated, reality denied, power abused, and incompetence rewarded. They don’t turn indifferent or deny their anger and become sadistic and abusive. True warriors engage their anger and use its energy to empower themselves and free others.

We feel uncomfortable with anger and often fear warriors–even the one inside of us. An important part of our psyche—the warrior within us cannot be wished away. If we try to banish the warrior from our psychic system, we drive our aggression underground into the unconscious where anger will find expression in destructive ways. We need to learn how to feel and express our anger and how to react to the anger of others.

The walking dead surround us: the sycophants, indifferent, legions who comply and conform, those who claim entitlement and helplessness, countless who live small and petty lives and not a few villains. We can be better.

Younger generations need to take responsibility for the creation of the world they want for their children. Minorities need to get engaged, fight efforts to deny them their vote and cast their ballots no matter the inconveniences. Blue Collar men and women need to resist manipulation, get informed and act not only in their own self-interest but for national and global interests that support humanity. We need spiritual warriors in all groups, united by their shared humanity, who will stand up, speak up and take actions that remind us of our own best possibilities.

We live in difficult times that test our goodness.

God and politicians won’t save us. We are responsible.

Can we keep our hearts intact?

See: Thoughts About Trump and The Call in the Time of Trump.

The Warrior Ed McGaa

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Congratulations to the Standing Rock Sioux:  On Sunday (12/4/16), the US Army Corps of Engineers said it would not grant a necessary permit to allow the Dakota Access Pipeline to cross the Missouri River — putting the controversial project on hold indefinitely while officials explore alternative routes.

This drama reminded me of an interview I did with Ed McGaa in 1996.

Ed McGaa, an Oglala Sioux, was born and raised on the Pine Ridge Indian reservation in South Dakota. The son of strong parents, he grew up gifted and secure:

That is probably why I can take flack and it doesn’t bother me. I have a strong background in my mother and my father.

Ed’s (Eagle Man) development was nurtured by mentors such as Ben Black Elk, son of Black Elk, and an involved extended family:

He (Ben Black Elk) set the seeds because he always talked about his father’s book when I was little. My mother had a couple of sisters who played a strong role in my life. All my brothers saw combat in World War II so when I was a little boy I had these heroes, real live heroes, who would write letters back to me.

I have always been blessed with mentors. The spirit world put mentors in my life. I attended St. John’s University and a couple of Benedictine priests took me under their wing. Later Fools Crow and Bill Eagle Feather were honorable men to look up to.Ben Rifle was a congressmen who talked me into leaving the Marines to attend law school. Now I am older and my mentors are dead, but they are still here with me. I feel their presence.

As a Marine pilot Ed flew over one-hundred combat missions in Viet Nam. He earned a law degree from the University of South Dakota and is the author of many books including:  Mother Earth Spirituality, Native Wisdom: Perceptions of the Natural Way, and Eagle Vision: Return of the Hoop.

Upon returning from Viet Nam he was a leader in restoring Native American spiritual practices to his reservation. He shifted from being a physical warrior to a mystic warrior:

A mystic warrior is concerned about the preservation of the natural way. We had our way taken from us and we were forbidden to do it. Now it is coming back. But in my time, when I was young, there were very few young men who stood up for the Indian way. Most of them were in the bars, and they were captured by the white man’s drugs and the white man’s alcohol. They were brainwashed in the white man’s way by the boarding schools. They showed little attention towards the return of the natural way. The mystic warrior doesn’t fight physically but speaks up against the crowd for a way of life and for our spirituality. The mystic warrior leads a life the Great Spirit would want you to live.

Ed McGaa turned down careers in the military and in the law to follow his purpose. A mystical warrior lives a life of integrity:

It was easier to be ethical and honorable in the old Sioux life style because materialism did not permeate it and the values allowed you to be honorable and ethical.

In the Sioux tradition there is a high degree of honor. Our ancestors were so truthful that they never broke a treaty. They have a track record of family, environmentalism, and patriotism to the tribe. They were true to all the great ethical descriptions.

Some say I romanticize them. I do not romanticize them. I saw these people who were pure, full blood Indians who would stay at my parents place and they were all these things, and they had humor on top of it. They were always open as to how they could improve their spirituality. They were always open to what others were doing. They were able to adapt. The Sioux were great adapters.

Warriors were observed by the people and the leadership emerged. Leaders were those who demonstrated bravery, good judgment, and provided for the people. They were those who made good decisions. A real leader had few possessions; they gave their possessions to the people. Leaders had to demonstrate loyalty, ethical ability, and honor.

We recognize what is honorable, and we recognize what is unhonorable. It is just put inside of us. We recognize what is honorable and what is ethical. You have to put truthfulness away for the spirit world as you put food away for the winter. Humans get in trouble by bending truths. Being truthful is seeing the natural ways of life.

In helping to bring Indian spirituality back to his reservation, Ed McGaa stepped away from the crowd:

Sometimes you are at the cutting edge and you are out in front and the people are not ready for it. Later on in 20 or 30 years they will come and be part of it but you will have been forgotten. So I don’t recommend leading for anybody if you are thin-skinned.

Now, many years later, I am on the cutting edge again in sharing our spirituality with non-Indians. Others want to keep it secret.   Being on the cutting edge is not an easy road. I feel cursed by it in a way. You have to be extremely thick-skinned. I think in my next life I am going to be a simple farmer. Or I am going to be a poet or a musician. And not ever take this cutting edge role.

Why does he help non-Indians learn about Native American spirituality? “I don’t feel bad educating the white man. It is one world we live in.”

The Call in the Time of Trump

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The “normal” state of mind of most human beings contains a strong element of what we might call dysfunction or even madness. The collective manifestations of the insanity that lies at the heart of the human condition constitute the greater part of human history. It is to a large extent a history of madness. Eckhart Tolle in A New Earth.

 

In 1994, I said yes to an intense calling: I set out to be my own learning laboratory. I wanted to learn how to live from a new world view: a view of the world as an alive, engaged, interwoven and interdependent living system where the human spirit mattered. I joined a movement to change how we lead, follow and work in organizations.

I completed a Ph.D. in Leadership and Organizational Change; began to write essays; and consulted with leaders and organizations. I hoped to be a catalyst to help them learn and grow as people and leaders.

The movement I joined with such excitement in 1994 did not change the organizational world as I had hoped. Occasionally leaders with insight and great hearts would elevate an organization to high levels of engagement, involvement and business results but when the leader left, the group would fall backwards. Often the decline went not back to the original starting point but a fall backwards of many generations of leadership. I retired after 13 years, my heart and soul worn out from the resistance to meaningful change. People wanted to feel better at work: most didn’t want to do the hard work to feel alive.

I now fear the same type of regression for America.

America elected a new president—an unconscious ego-driven man replaces a conscious and spiritual man. Desperate for change, even as they complained of too much rapid change, the Trump voters selected a president knowing he’s unfit for the job. In doing so, they put everyone at risk.

Many of us fear that America, having sat balanced precariously on the precipice of decline for some time now, chose in this election to return to previous states—personally and collectively–that may have seemed to work at an earlier time in our history—a more immature and unconscious time. And this choice will, many of us fear, take America into a deep and dark decline, which will threaten our well-being and our democracy.

On the edge of old age, part of me would like to drop out and live out my life in peace. But I cannot. I’ve been on my intentional personal journey in life since 1974 when I spent a month in a tough alcohol treatment center and had my first awakening.

Running away has not been my nature; going forward into the scary and often painful unknown has been my path. So I will do what I can and continue my efforts to bring some sanity to our mad world through my small contributions. Feeling alive comes from striving to achieve noble objectives. Living true to myself matters more than peace or success.

Many feel upset about the election and moved instantly into an attack mode at anything Trump or Republican related. I think most Republican approaches deserve strong criticism as so many cause human suffering. But I think we would be wise to pause and reflect on this election, how we feel about it and what we can do in positive and thoughtful response. Otherwise we will miss the opportunity for our own growth that resides in the pain we feel.

Trump is not the root problem: he is a symbol and a symptom. The human spirit suffers. Our human madness in how we live is the root problem. The suffering intensifies when demagogues convince people they will feel better by harming others. They will not. We should focus our efforts on fighting for the human spirit everywhere in whatever way aligns with our purpose and values.

If you feel great loss over this fundamental shift in America, take time to ponder what life calls you to do. Our primary purpose in life concerns the kind of person we become. Eckhart Tolle wrote in A New Earth that every human being shares a common purpose: To Awaken. Awakening brings a shift in consciousness from which we see life through new eyes. We also have our own unique personal purpose for how we use our unique talents in the world. Perhaps in our personal reflections, we can bring forth greater consciousness in ourselves.

The Roman philosopher Tacitus observed: “the desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise.” Tolle wrote: “If uncertainty is unacceptable to you, it turns into fear. If it [uncertainty] is perfectly acceptable, it turns into increased aliveness, alertness, and creativity.” We can feel alive by putting uncertainty aside and pursuing noble goals of our choosing.

If, under great pressure to conform to the madness of the world, we stay true to our deepest values and purpose for our lives and take purposeful actions, we will feel alive and together we will model a new and evolved consciousness to others.

Thoughts on Trump

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During periods of fear and anxiety, candidates try to promise things they may not be able to deliver. The problem with demagogues is that you make promises that you can’t necessarily keep. But people want to believe it. Presidential Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin

 

The polls and pundits were wrong: Trump won the election. Clinton won the popular vote by more than two million votes and counting. Trump won the electoral college by winning Wisconsin by 0.8 percent; Michigan by 0.2 percent and Pennsylvania by 1.1 percent. Wisconsin will do a recount. Perhaps Michigan and Pennsylvania will too. With all the talk of rigged elections by Trump and rumors of Russian hacking to help Trump, I think recounts would be appropriate for the integrity of our election process. I do not expect the results to change.

I assess a presidential candidate first by character and then by talent, experience and policy positions. A person of character models goodness: caring, empathy and compassion for all of humanity. A person of character has a strong inner core: deep values and a purpose greater than himself. A visionary, he has a positive, hopeful, sustainable and forward-looking dream for the evolution of America and the planet. A president of character shows us wisdom, bravery, fairness, knowledge, emotional maturity and transcendence.

Character stands alone as the primary and essential requirement for presidential leadership. If the candidate lacks sufficient character then we have no need to even consider talent, experience and policy positions. No one has everything we’d like in a president but Trump lacks most everything. I could not imagine him as a presidential leader. And that was before I watched him on the campaign trail.

I found it painful to watch Donald Trump at debates and rallies. He projected so many things wrong with what it means to be a man today, or a decent human being in the 21st century or what should be expected of a president of the United States in a complex and interdependent world. Rejecting self-awareness, he projected his faults and dark motives onto others. He seemed to feel entitled to be petty and vindictive. Easily manipulated by praise, he therefore lacked personal freedom. He lied constantly to protect his false image. I experienced him as a hollow man—a man without a core. I felt repulsed by him and found him contemptible. I feared for democracy and for America.

Much of the media sold its journalistic soul for the money the Trump spectacle brought them. Trump lies 75% of the time. His followers didn’t care. We watched crazy in action and a serious election process became a reality TV show. Character mattered not at all or not much to those who followed him. The more despicable he was, the more they supported him. He made angry Americans feel heard and cared about. They rewarded him for making them feel good. They so wanted to believe in him. Will future historians write that America went crazy in 2016?

We must not normalize Trump despite the temptation to do so. If we think of him as “normal” we feel less anxious and afraid. Making him normal dumbs down what we expect of a man today, what we expect of a decent human being in a diverse world and what we expect of our president in a dangerous time.

We—our society and our culture—made Trump. He emerged from the understandable pain, fear and anxiety of a large segment of the rural white community many who feel their voices have been ignored and others who feel overwhelmed and left behind in a rapidly changing world. He also emerged from the fears some have of powerful women, people different from themselves and racists who saw a kindred soul in Trump. And he emerged from white people who feel, again understandable, deep anxiety about becoming a minority demographic group soon. A true demagogue, Trump falsely convinced many who want to believe that their problems will be solved by building walls, victimizing others and retreating from the world. I do not believe Trump will be the cure of the ills of America; I believe he will make them worse.

The majority of Americans see a different America. We walk into an unknown future darker and more dangerous than just weeks ago. We support those terrified of Trump World. We go forward with others guided by our life purpose, our values and a dream of a diverse and inclusive America and a planet sustainable for all people.

Just Dead Inside

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True happiness involves the full use of one’s powers and talents—striving towards meaningful goals, not necessarily the attaining of those goals.

John W. Gardner in Self-Renewal

 

At my going away coffee party at the Star Tribune newspaper (1994), I said to my friends and colleagues: “I don’t know what I’ll be doing two years from now but I do know that I’ll be feeling alive.”

With that I set out on a new journey using myself as my own learning laboratory. What did I want to learn? I wanted to learn how to live. My journey took me out of the corporate world and into a Ph.D. program then a new career as a consultant, a life of writing and photography, a year on the side of a mountain in southwest Colorado, marriage to Melanie, the slow creation of a community of people I care about and the challenging journey into retirement and powerful new awareness and learning.

My odyssey continues today, 22 years after I began.

I recently read Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging by Sebastian Junger.

In the postscript of his book he told the story of anthropologist Eleanor Leacock, who had spent much time with the Cree Indians of northern Canada.

Junger wrote:

“Leacock went on a hunting trip with a Cree named Thomas. Deep in the bush they encountered two men, strangers, who had run out of food and were extremely hungry. Thomas gave them all his flour and lard, despite the fact that he would have to cut his own trip short as a result. Leacock probed Thomas as to why he did this, and he finally lost patience with her. “Suppose, now, not to give them flour, lard,” he explained. “Just dead inside.’”

Feeling alive inside requires noble goals that we strive for but may never attain. And feeling alive requires that we develop empathy, caring, connection, generosity and compassion for other people. We are not just economic units. More importantly, we are human beings interconnected with all that is alive.

We live in a time in America where millions are afraid of our new president. We can feel alive by offering our support to those with the least power and greatest vulnerability. They need our presence.

Perspective

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Maturity begins with the capacity to sense and, in good time and without defensiveness, admit to our own craziness. If we are not regularly deeply embarrassed by who we are, the journey to self-knowledge hasn’t begun. Alain De Botton

Melanie and I had a good laugh when our 80-year-old neighbor chuckled as he described himself as an “aging superstar in the twilight of a mediocre career.”

His words captured the ego all of us have combined with the realizations age may bring: nothing is forever and none of us are all that significant in the greater cosmos. If anyone has any doubt of their insignificance, go to a dark and remote place on a clear night, lay on the ground and look up at the sky: what you experience will humble you.

Most of us spend a significant portion of our lives proving ourselves to others and collecting what Eckhart Tolle in The New Earth called identity enhancers: status, money, promotions, possessions, being right and being seen as at least as successful as others and preferably a bigger winner than other people. We believe we are our identity enhancers, derive our self-worth from them and feel secretly superior. We may show off, seek to stand out and want to be the center of attention.

Our satisfaction from each enhancer lasts only briefly so we must continue what can be addictive behavior to feel more than we are. We can be driven by an unconscious craziness terrified to think of ourselves as insignificant or as ordinary, everyday people. While an identity based on what we possess or stories we tell ourselves instead of who we are beyond ego is a profound mistake, it is the American way.

I spent my career in organizations: the federal government, the newspaper industry and as a consultant to organizations. The organizational culture appeals, in insidious ways, to our egos and desire to elevate ourselves. If our need for self-importance gets out of control, we can lose our connection with our values, sell our souls and think our power, control and influence and the roles we play are who we are and will continue forever. But they never last forever and identifying with them only adds to our suffering in life.

We should keep our human condition in perspective:

Eckhart Tolle in A New Earth:

The ego isn’t wrong; it’s just unconscious. When you observe the ego in yourself, you are beginning to go beyond it. Don’t take the ego too seriously. When you detect egoic behavior in yourself, smile. At times you may even laugh. How could humanity have been taken in by this for so long?  

I hope everyone has achievements they feel proud of. Being proud of our accomplishments and caring about our possessions is not bad. It becomes dysfunctional when we are unconscious of the ego’s drive to define ourselves through material things or fleeting emotional states.

We may resist the call to evolve beyond ego and remain driven by our ego needs in different ways until the end. Or, maybe we stop the madness within us and spend the rest of our lives on a more unique and authentic journey to greater awareness and our own peculiar, passionate and conscious development as human beings of noble purpose.

It’s okay to be an “aging superstar in the twilight of a mediocre career” like me and our neighbor. We are okay being who we are. We can surrender to our ordinariness and find aliveness and greater happiness through our conscious evolution–as embarrassing as self-awareness can be at times.